Fear of Transformation

A new year typically brings thoughts of new goals, new beginnings, new adventures, new habits, new ways of living life.

Why do we do this?

The aim is to transform our lives. We want to make our lives better, brighter, easier. We want to be a healthier, wiser, happier human being. We accomplish that by making changes.

With some contemplation and self-reflection, I noticed that, as much as I want my life to be better, brighter, and easier, and as much as I want to be a healthier, wiser, happier human being, I am actually afraid of transformation! Especially radical transformation!

The idea of becoming someone radically different scares the bejesus out of me. I know my habits (my rut) well. I am predictable to myself. I am familiar with the way I feel in my body- where the tension is and what it feels like. I am familiar with the thoughts in my mind - even if they might be negative and don’t actually serve me. I am familiar with my patterns of behaviour, the tone and words of my self-talk, my belief systems, my attitudes, my apparent self-imposed personal and professional limits. I am familiar with my level of success, my level of confidence, my level of stress.

This is all familiar to me. Familiarity is comfortable. I know who I am. I am comfortable being who I am.

So, if I become someone completely new with radical transformation, that person will be a stranger! Completely unfamiliar. That's uncomfortable.

And I know myself well enough to know that I value comfort.

Is this bad? Is it wrong?


Does it impede my deep, heartfelt desire for transformation?


I don’t think I am alone in being afraid of transformation. And I don’t think I am alone in valuing comfort.

The first step to any change or journey you are making is an acceptance of where you are now.

So often, we think where we are is bad and wrong and we think that makes us unacceptable, so we fight with ourself, thinking that we must force ourself to be more acceptable before we accept ourselves. This is just wasting energy. Energy that could be used for transforming ourselves instead of fighting ourselves.

Even though I am afraid of radical transformation, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I love my comfort, I deeply and completely accept myself. 

Even though I don’t like the discomfort of transformation, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Acceptance brings a sense of peace to the “problem”, making the problem less of a problem, effectively removing the largest obstacle to transformation: yourself.

What do I hope to work on this year?

Practicing acceptance with where I am and getting comfortable with discomfort as I radically transform myself.

Who’s with me?

PS. If you’re ready to start transforming yourself now, then use coupon code: SAVE20BUCKS on The 42 Day Choice Challenge, one video emailed to you daily with transformational insights, reflective questions, and a powerful, guided technique to make transformation easier. Learn more, here.

Here’s to conquering stress.

With heart,

The Stress Experts

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