Relationships have the potential to be a source of great stress. They also have the potential to be the source of great support and sense of belonging - a great stress relief!
Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 Love Languages”, recently sent out an email about relationships that I am sharing with you, here:
Have you ever watched a movie and had difficulty figuring out the plot? If so, I’m assuming you either turned it off or turned your attention elsewhere (i.e., phone, refrigerator, sleep). When you don’t understand how things are connected, you begin to lose interest. Boredom begins to set in, and eventually you give up trying to figure out the point of it all.
Whether it’s on the big screen or in your relationships, it’s vitally important to create context for specific interactions. Your spouse, child, friend, or coworker cannot read your mind. They may not always understand why you said what you said or did what you did. Although your actions and words may make sense to you, they don't always make sense to others. Therefore, it’s important to help create context when you sense others are confused by your actions or reactions—especially ones that are inconsistent with your normal behavioural patterns. This will help them better understand who you are and reconcile your behaviour.
For example, when you are under a lot of stress, you may react with less patience toward others—snapping at those around you with cynical or cutting remarks. This can be confusing for others if they don’t understand where your lack of patience is coming from. Stress is never an excuse for treating others poorly, but when others understand the context, they will often be more patient and empathetic—possibly seeking to alleviate your stress in one way or another.
Confusion can be problematic for relationships and often causes distance. Communication, on the other hand, can help create the context by which relationships can grow closer and become healthier. Let’s learn to communicate the why behind our behaviour in ways that are helpful to our relationships.
(Me again.) You’ve probably heard it before, “Communication is key to healthy relationships.” But sometimes we are not sure what exactly we are to communicate. Communicating the why/ the reasons for/the drive behind our behaviour is an excellent place to start.
But maybe even you don’t know why you do what you do. Maybe you don’t understand what motivates your behaviours or why you’re acting the way you are. That makes it pretty hard to communicate it to another person.
If you want to improve your relationships, you have to know yourself better.
One way to do that is to learn your “love language” from Gary Chapman.
Another way is to explore your Enneagram type. The Enneagram Personality system is an insightful and powerful tool to help you learn about yourself and your deep core motivations (and the motivations of others!). Watch the video, here for more information.
If you want to know your Enneagram personality type so you can experience less stress and healthier relationships, schedule your personal typing session, here.
Here’s what Tracy Brunet, CEO at Farm Marketer had to say:
”The Enneagram has been a GAME CHANGER for me. I am confident in saying that I have a strong understanding of personality types; however, the Enneagram has taken it to a whole new level. I have been studying personality types and self-help material for over a decade. The Enneagram’s body of work provided the final missing pieces of the self-awareness puzzle. After all this time, studying, and books, I was still left wondering “Why am I like this?” and “Why can’t I change that?” when it comes to certain things in my life. Immediately Louise and the Enneagram answered my most pressing questions. I had several MAJOR lightbulb moments. Not only that, I am starting to accept myself more. This has honestly been a huge sigh of relief. I am really excited to be working with Louise to discover, accept, and move to version 2.0 of me. If you are looking to improve yourself (and close relationships) through greater self-awareness, I would highly recommend Louise and her coaching.”
Here’s to conquering stress.
The Stress Experts
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