I went to a get together a while ago. It was low key, casual and fun. It wrapped up late and when it was time for my head to hit the pillow I expected to fall asleep, stat. But that didn’t happen. Instead my mind went for a run on its hamster wheel.
“Did I say that wrong?”
“Does he think I’m boring?”
“What did she mean when she said that?”’
“What if that offended him?”
“What do people think about me?”
“Was I good enough?”
Does this sound familiar? Do you have a hamster wheel that questions if you’re good enough. I think you do. Maybe its vocabulary is different than mine. Maybe yours talks to you about your body, money, your relationship, your family, your job, your dreams. I don’t know what yours says to you, but it doesn’t matter. The essence is always the same, “Am I good enough?”
We talk to others, think about others and believe that they don’t have this “Not Good Enough” thing going on. But we all do. But we each walk around pretending we don’t. We are afraid of others picking it out, laughing at it, taking advantage of it, criticizing it, so we hide it.
Unfortunately when we hide this “Not Good Enough” thing, we hide a lot of other really great stuff inside us.
Imagine that this “Not Good Enough” thing was a second nose right on your face. You are so embarrassed of this second nose, you wrap a scarf around your head, covering your face. You don’t look up; you don’t catch people’s eyes for fear they will whip off your scarf, see your appalling second nose and laugh, criticize, and judge you.
But if you were to look up once and look at the others around you, do you know what you’d see? Lots of scarves. Because everyone has a second nose right on their face. Everyone is afraid of not being enough.
I haven’t figured out why this is a universal thing, when I do, I’ll let you know. But for now, see it in others, love it in others, help others know that they’re ok. Take care of each other, without judging or criticizing, so that we can each show our faces fearlessly and step it up. Because this “Not Good Enough” thing can drive us to do crazy things. Or it can drive us to do great things.
What is your “Not Good Enough” thing saying to you?
What great things is your “Not Good Enough” thing holding you back from doing?
Here’s to Conquering Stress,
The Stress Experts
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Practical Strategies to Deal with Daily Stressors
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