It’s that time again. Time to talk about New Year’s Resolutions.
Every year I make a resolution. Some goal to be better in some, or all areas of life. Some plan to improve. To be more successful, more fit, a better person, to learn something new, to accomplish something good. More, better, more.
This year, I’m doing it differently. This year, I’m not going to be more, new, better, improved, etc. I’m just going to be.
I’m going to try something completely different than I’ve ever done before, something radical. I’m going to accept myself. Not push myself, hound myself, or pressure myself. Just be myself.
I’ll observe myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been observing myself for years now. I can call out my habits and patterns, my emotions, my judgments, and my ego.
But this year, I’m not going to correct them, fix them, straighten them or improve them. I’m going to observe them. Period.
I’ll accept myself. Unconditionally.
Up to this point I’ve followed up my astute self-observation with self-criticism and self-fixing. But not this year. This year, I’ll observe and accept.
It’s not going to be easy. I’ll want to fix. And that’s ok. I don’t need to fix my fixing-tendencies. I’ll want to correct. That’s ok too. I don’t need to correct my correcting-habits. I’ll want to judge myself. That’s fine. I don’t need to judge my inner-judge. This year, it’s ok.
Up to this point I thought I’ve had to do it myself. If I want to feel peaceful, then I have to fix my anger. If I want to succeed, then I have to work harder. If I want to be better, then I have try more. I thought that it was all on me. That it was my job to make it happen.
Let me explain. When you grow a garden, how do the plants grow? Sure you plant the seeds, and water them and fertilize them, but do you make the plants grow? No.
When water is unsettled and murky, do you have to do anything to create calm, clear water? No.
When you cut your arm, do you have to consciously draw the skin together and heal? No.
When you form a relationship with someone, do you have to knit together your psyches to bond? No.
You allow these things to happen. You don’t do anything to make it happen. You allow it.
In the same way, I’m going to allow growth, calm clarity, healing, and connection to take place inside myself. It’s not me. It is something bigger than me that I am apart of. It’s human nature, Mother Nature, God’s Nature. It’s natural.
Does this mean that I’m spending this year on my rump, doing nothing, navel-gazing, thumb-twiddling? Waiting for the Big Guy to do something amazing?
No. Absolutely not.
I’m going to be open-hearted. I’m going to laugh and take myself, others, and life more lightly. I’m going to put one foot in front of the other, not in any particular direction, but just because I enjoy walking.
Will my life look very different on the outside? Nope. Not at all. You probably won’t even notice. But for me, it will be completely transformed.
No matter what your New Year resolution is, whether you want to push yourself or give yourself a break, we can help you transform your life with one-on-one coaching. Start here.
Here’s to conquering stress.
The Stress Experts
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