Moment of truth: other people’s opinions bother me. I try not to let that happen, but it still does. I am working on it and I am making progress.
There’s a term, a made-up word, that I heard somewhere - I can’t remember where. (For those of you who are sensitive to curses, my apologies.)
The term is “unfuckwithable”. It really resonated with me and I instantly adopted it into my vocabulary.
Ever since I heard this word, it has become my goal to become unfuckwithable, then other people’s opinions won’t bother me.
When I say that to friends, “I want to be unfuckwithable,” they don’t really understand what I mean. They see it as a cold, closed-hearted, shielded and protected person. They picture someone walking around with a big “F*** Off” written across their forehead.
And that couldn’t be more wrong.
Someone that needs such a sign on their forehead is most definitely affected by the opinions of others and they don’t know how to regulate how that makes them feel inside so the only solution they see that keeps their inner peace and protects them from hurt is to not engage with others, to keep them at arms length…or further…hence the cold, closed-hearted, shielded and protected posture.
On the other hand, unfuckwithable is a stance, an attitude, a way of being that is warm, calm, inviting, engaged, present, open-hearted, balanced, accepting, stable, composed, resilient, and vulnerable.
It is a stance that is so calm and so composed that you can’t be shaken, no matter what someone says or what happens. Like the centre of a hurricane, calm and centred while everything is swirling and spinning around you, not because you have taken yourself out of the situation, but because you have allowed yourself to be smack dab in the middle of it.
It is so open-hearted that it’s bigger than the opinions of others. It is so loving that its love envelops the other person and their opinions, seeing and understanding the biggest picture of what is and accepting it.
It is what happens when you don’t need validation, affirmation, or convincing from yourself or others because you confidently yet humbly stand in the truth of your awesomeness, that which can’t be questioned, taken away, doubted, or tarnished.
It is a when you have a balance of not being ashamed of taking up space (literal and metaphorical) in this life with no need to apologize for it, yet all the while not stepping on or pushing out others because there is no need to prove anything to anyone or to yourself.
Being unfuckwithable is being vulnerable and open, knowing that no matter how much physical, mental or emotional pain a part of you experiences, there is a part of you, a centre, a core, a deeper, higher, and truer you that can’t be hurt.
Yeah. Unfuckwithable. That’s who I’m becoming.
I look forward to the day when I consider other people’s opinions like deer poop in the bush; it’s there, it doesn’t bother me, and I never think about it.
Here’s to conquering stress.
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